My most favorite sitcom lines, EVER

1) "I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted, cured meats": from SEINFELD, said by one of George's paramours regarding his desire to introduce deli meats into their boudoir, in the episode "The Blood."
2) "A handful of sunshine": from the same episode of SEINFELD, said by Elaine after babysitting her friend's child (just after which she is seen to be pouring orange juice out of her handbag).
3) "I'm breezy!": from the FRIENDS episode "The One Where No One's Ready," said by Monica to ex-boyfriend Richard, over the phone, after advice from one of her cohorts to "be breezy." (and as Joey remarks afterward, "you can't say you're breezy. That totally negates the breezy").
4) "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm another person in the room.": from THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW episode "Today I Am a Ma'am," said by Rhoda, to one of Mary's many fawning admirers who is completely ignoring her (this is the same episode where Rhoda says she has to lose 10 lbs. by 8:30).
5) "...my...wonderful guy...": from the episode "The Six and a-half-year itch" from THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW, said by Lou's son-in-law at a movie theatre, where he is attempting to introduce Lou to a woman who is not Lou's daughter.
6) "Now he's sittin' around in a chair by a window going, "my name is Bob."": from SEINFELD, said by Kramer while explaining the hazards of routine surgery to George in the episode "The Heart Attack."
7) "In the wild, there is no health care" said by Dwight, explaining the facts of life, in the episode "Health Care" on THE OFFICE.

Yet Another Song I Can't Get Out Of My Head

....they tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no....yes, I've been black, but when I come back you'll know, know, know....
But from what I can gather, rehab really is needed in this case, eh?

Cleaning up the clutter

Now that I am apparently on the verge of getting my very own asthma inhaler (or some such), I have decided to tackle the thorny issue of getting rid of some dust-collecting ancient artifacts, such as issues of People with headlines blaring, "Jen's surprising new beau - Brad Pitt!" Hey, if I dig far enough maybe I'll find "Mia's surprising new beau - Woody!"

Literary snob? Moi?

Au contraire! I also loved these timeless works of literary...uh.... genius(?):

• The Best of Everything (a trash classic!)
• Bridget Jones's Diary (read in the original British)
• The Devil Wears Prada (best read while sipping cosmos and wearing stilettos)
• The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing
• If Looks Could Kill
• The Nanny Diaries
  
• One For the Money, etc...
• The Valley of the Dolls; The Love Machine; and Once is Not Enough (from the Tolstoy of chick lit)
  

Still to read: Peyton Place; The Group

Too much TV...WAAAY too much...

The question occurs - how am I possibly going to read all these books I keep saying I want to read when I keep watching television. And now I've just added another show, Californication, which I shall refrain from discussing here as a colleague's son writes and produces the show. Suffice to say, Dream On meets SATC meets The Mind of the Married Man. And David Duchovny is as adorable as always. But where is Scully when you need her?

Books I simply MUST read before I die!

Despite the fact that most visitors to this site appear to be looking for news about Tony Soprano (is he still dead?), I will persist in my foolishness about books - a short list of titles that (like the book says) I must read:
Anna Karenina and Madame Bovary (and is there any truth to the rumor that these two are the same book?)
Can You Forgive Her? (for the title alone, if for no other reason)
Cousin Bette
The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling
Women in Love and Sons and Lovers
Tristram Shandy
The Pickwick Papers
A Dance to the Music of Time
and many, many, more

And here are some books that I most likely will never get to:
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Crime and Punishment
Ulysses (the novel by Joyce, not the character from Greek tragedy)
War and Peace
In Search of Lost Time (and aren't we all?)

The Oscar Wilde/Neil Simon Connection: who knew?

While watching Anthony Asquith's film version of Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest the other night, I noticed that two of his main female characters, Cecily and Gwendolyn, share the same first names as the Pigeon sisters in Neil Simon's comedy, The Odd Couple. And of course how truly witty and ahead of his time Wilde was! Some sample dialogue:

• "I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on a train."


• "When I am in really great trouble, as anyone who knows me intimately will tell you, I refuse everything except food and drink."


• "When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people."


• "It is absurd to have a hard and fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read."


• "To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune, to lose both looks like carelessness."


• "The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means."

The Deader the Better, or, "The Classics, Reclassified"*

While rereading Pride and Prejudice last night, I noted my frustratingly lonely predilection for reading well-known authors who long ago ascended to the Pearly Gates, as it were. But I persist, because, in the words of my would-be mentor, Diane Sawyer, when asked what she was planning on reading one summer, "I haven't done justice to George Eliot." Speaking of which, while talking up Middlemarch at work the other day, somebody turned to me and said, "Is that by Dickens?" Well, no. Herewith, a sampling of some other Great Old Books I've enjoyed:

• Emma, Persuasion, and Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austen
• Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte
• The Woman in White, by Wilkie Collins
• Robinson Crusoe, by Daniel Defoe
• David Copperfield, and Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens
• Sentimental Education, by Gustave Flaubert
• Howards End, A Room with a View, and Where Angels Fear to Tread, by E.M. Forster
• The Vicar of Wakefield, by Oliver Goldsmith
• The Portrait of a Lady, and Washington Square, by Henry James
• Lady Chatterley's Lover, by D.H. Lawrence
• The Pursuit of Love, and Love in a Cold Climate, by Nancy Mitford
• Down and Out in Paris and London, and Keep the Aspidistra Flying, by George Orwell
• Vanity Fair, by William Makepeace Thackeray
• The Age of Innocence, and The House of Mirth, by Edith Wharton

As you know, many of the above titles have been made into fine and quite delightful films. But there is nothing like the book!

*with apologies to Mr. Richard Armour

Bad sneakers and a pina colada, my friend

Chilled out at work yesterday by listening to a bit of Steely Dan. And is anyone out there making music today that's as good as Becker and Fagen in their prime?
Click here to listen to one of their "more better" songs!